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Joke of the Day

"You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard."

"Finished my first short film. It's a horror/drama that will scare and make you weep. It's basically just footage of me naked."

"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan."

"Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?"

"What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved."

"What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz? Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes."

"What do you call a bad circumcision? A rip off. (Da da tshhh)"

"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."

"Do you guys know the story about the broken pencil? Nevermind, it has no point."

"What's the Boogeyman's part-time job? BoogeyNAN!"