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Joke of the Day

"Me? Yes, of course I have feelings! Last Sunday, for example, I dropped a piece of bacon on the floor. I just stared and cried for 18 mins"

"Why we don't give food to cannibals.. ..because they know how to feed for themselves."

"Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE"

"Spell anaesthetize! Harry was sad when reddit was unaffected."

"People ask where I see myself in 5 years But I always tell them that I don't have 2020 vision"

"What do you call a guy with a big orange nose? Sir. The man has enough on his plate without being treated as a lesser individual by society."

"1st Anniversary: Let's go to Vegas 5th Anniversary: Get a sitter so we can go to dinner 10th Anniversary: Russian roulette sounds like fun"

"It's actually pretty tough to write a Reddit joke that insults Trump supporters. Because they probably can't read it."

"I needed a password at least eight characters long ... ... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"What do Romans say when their wives run away? Caesar!"