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Joke of the Day
"Elon Musk's new MasterCard Ad. Getting a person to Mars?: $100,000. Getting them back?: Priceless."
Next Joke
"Isn't it annoying when you're having dinner with your in-laws and they don't exist because no one loves you enough to marry you?"
"There was a U2 cover band playing at a bar last night... I hate to say it, but they were even better than the real thing."
"Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner? Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin."
"I used to be a police officer... A guy came up to me when I was patrolling a street and asked if he could urinate between my wrist and elbow. I said ""Not on my watch."""
"Are you a bandicoot? Because I would crash for you."
"Just a small joke Your penis"
"ME: I wish I was a little bit taller GENIE: done M: I wish I was a baller G: done M: I wish I knew the rest of the lyrics G: done M: dammit"
"Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM? Because he charges!"
"If the voices in my head had a British accent, I would do what they say more often."