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Joke of the Day

"Are you a bandicoot? Because I would crash for you."

"When I was a kid, I liked to lay face down in the snow with a boner and make ""snow girlfriends."""

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! And my wife has lost 200!"

"What's a ghost's favorite data type? BOO-lean!"

"Why do people with bulimia nervosa love KFC? Because your meal comes with a bucket!"

"Some asshole has got my pen is what the nurse said when she noticed she had a rectal thermometer in her pocket. edit: punctuation."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is busty crustacean"

"I deal with my problems like how Coors makes money. With a lot of beer"

"How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !"

"Husband: Call ambulance, Fast! I am Having a Heart Attack... Wife: ( Took his mobile): ""Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"" Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D"