183833

Joke of the Day

"My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out."

"I'm shocked that not one dairy farmer in Israel has thought to call his company ""Cheeses of Nazareth""!"

"Me: Mom, am I ugly? Mom: Why don't you ask your girlfriend? Me: But I don't have a girlfriend! Mom: Still looking for the answer?"

"Relationship Status: changing locks"

"God said to Jon ""Come forth, and recieve eternal life."" But Jon came fifth, and won a toaster."

"What are the consequences of smoking weed? The reefercussions"

"my dance moves can best be described as ""did that dude just try to leap frog?"" & ""whoa that's a lot of blood"" & ""is he still alive?"""

"When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, ""Ladies first"" it really means ""Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks."""

"My ex says he's dating someone new but according to his Instagram she's a sandwich"

"Teacher told me to give her eye contact when I speak with her. So i jabbed my finger in her eye to touch it."