221995
Joke of the Day
"Mary had a little lamb... ... and the doctor fainted."
Next Joke
"What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend? On the front page of reddit."
"What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)"
"Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off? He's a whole two feet shorter."
"My wife has this really weird fetish... She likes to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time."
"Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert"""
"A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No it's velvet !'"
"Essex Girl after sex! What does an Essex girl say after having sex? What team do you guys play for?"
"I don't know how to tell my friends . . . that rather than hang out with them, I would prefer to be at home, alone, daydreaming about having better friends I would actually want to hang out with."
"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"