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Joke of the Day

"Used tampons should be hung outside for the mosquito"

"Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!"

"Why Do Farts Smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too!"

"Eskimos.. What do eskimos do when it gets cold? They go into their igloos and sit around a candle. What do they do when it gets even colder? They turn on the candle."

"An old guy at the gym told me I looked like his late wife. I'm hoping he meant while she was alive."

"3 things happened to me today 1. I woke up 2. I met a hot girl 3. I kissed a hot girl But it happened in this order, 1. I met a hot girl 2. I kissed a hot girl 3. I woke up"

"Gabriel ""Really? That's how you want humans to reproduce?"" God ""Trust me. It will be hilarious."""

"INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts."

"Don't like tipping bathroom attendants for merely handing me a towel. Maybe if he performed a service like wiping my ass I'd consider it."

"Marathon Just won my first marathon. I am experiencing the thrill of victory and the agony of de feet."