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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow you should turn back our clocks one hour. for Daylight Saving Time Unless you're Arabic, in which case you should set it forward 14 centuries."

"How do you know when you're at a gay barbecue? All the hot dogs taste like shit."

"Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!"

"""Stuff that alligator in that dolphin"" - God creating sharks"

"After a long search, I finally found the French cologne I was looking for... It was hiding behind the American cologne"

"The person who invented knock knock jokes... Deserves a no bell prize."

"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."

"Do you guys ever put sheets over your dogs so they look like little dog ghosts? Me neither."

"Why doesn't Jesus play basketball? He got crossed up."

"My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me ""Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring"". So I bought her nothing."