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Joke of the Day

"Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong."

"I tried to disrupt my bio teacher today and asked her what her favorite codon was She said stop"

"Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes."

"I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo"

"What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice? A GOP Presidential candidate."

"Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism."

"Me: Boss our sales are really going updog. Boss: You mean up? Me: No, updog. Boss: What's updog? Me: Not our sales. We're bankrupt."

"Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget"

"So i worked at the USPS...I'm apparently not the ""man"" for the..... the sub its named for."

"My kids are young, so when they listen to old school music they think its new. They are currently listening to a hot new band called Queen."