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Joke of the Day

"My uncle Robert was a shit ventriloquist He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing"

"We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark"

"What do you call it when trash pandas pleasure each other orally? Coonilingus"

"What did the dog do with the history professor? They got together and talked over old times."

"who said that girls don't have a good sense of direction? they sure know their way down."

"The Democratic National Committee. That's it. That's the entire fucking joke."

"Juror:We find the defendant- *pizza guy bursts in* ""Ive got 2 pizzas for Not Guilty"" Defendant: Im Not Guilty Judge:NOT GUILTY *bangs gavel*"

"What did they gay necrophiliac say about his ex-lover? ""That rotten asshole split on me again!"""

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle . Always wet but nothing to ride"

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner? Lettuce, pray."