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Joke of the Day
"The Democratic National Committee. That's it. That's the entire fucking joke."
Next Joke
"Why are cars faster than motorcycles? Because motorcycles are two tired."
"They need to make realistic commercials for beds & mattresses. They always show a couple, never a guy with a dog asleep on his chest."
"Dear God, when I said six zeros salary, I didn't mean only zeros."
"What do you call one-tenth of a bell? A Decibell."
"I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday. It said ""concentrate."""
"What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on? ""Spraint your ankle!"" Just in case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spraint"
"ELI5: If both my parents have huge dicks, does that mean I will be genetically guaranteed to have a huge dick when I grow up?"
"If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument a bank has just been robbed"
"You ever notice when your phone decides to call someone its someone you don't want to talk to.!"