18332

Joke of the Day

"I went to a German restaurant... ...and ordered an omelette....I just got a plate with two dots on it!"

"What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on? ""Spraint your ankle!"" Just in case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spraint"

"""Yes, he has a great voice but does he have a family member in the final stages of a terminal illness?"" - Reality singing competition shows"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?? None. They just beat the room for being black"

"It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram."

"""Hello, would you like to take part in a one-question survey?"" ""Sure."" ""Great! Thanks for participating."""

"upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case"

"What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Beats me, but the flag's a big plus."

"What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."

"PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net."