183269

Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the new hipster joke? No? I just got it on vinyl"

"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ? A lid !"

"Two crows fall in love, move in together, start a family. The perfect murder."

"A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times."

"Top Gear was twelve years old... That's one of the oldest things that the BBC staff have fucked."

"Marriage and happiness. Two friends meet on the street. ""Heard you got married, you must be so happy."" ""Yes, I must"""

"David Cameron: ""In some parts of Britain there are three generations of families where nobody has ever worked."" Buckingham Palace?"

"What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way. Thanks League smh"

"I should've been a sniper. They get to lie around all day and hardly lift a finger."