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Joke of the Day

"David Cameron: ""In some parts of Britain there are three generations of families where nobody has ever worked."" Buckingham Palace?"

"OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there"

"Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not."

"Why did sexually aroused man go to a gay parking lot To rear end everyone"

"What's a nun's favorite fruit? cantaloupe"

"What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night? Morgue Attendant"

"What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events? ICandy"

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...they always take things literally"

"I could tell you some great jokes about unemployed people... But none of them work."

"A man cuts a hunk of meat from his torso and cooks it in a pan. As he bleeds out, he realises: ""I've made a big me-steak"""