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Joke of the Day

"Going out with two gay men tonight; I know they're my competition, but I've seen them consume bananas and I think I can take them."

"What's dry but slippery? A slipper"

"A suicide bomber is teaching some new recruits... He said, ""Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."""

"""I know you! You were one of the bad guys in Titanic!"" I yelled at the ocean, who ignored me like most celebrities."

"50 shades of grey After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. ""Now what?"" I asked. ""Hurt me!"" ""Ok. You have saggy tits"""

"What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker"

"What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year? Breakfast."

"What do you call the shiniest people? Polish"

"My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me."

"What is an architects favorite movie? Angles in the Outfield"