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Joke of the Day

"Why do Africans get scared when they get diarrhea? Because they think they are melting...."

"Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now."

"Life like potato... Only have one, then soldier come and take."

"Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese."

"I just changed my iPhone's name to ""Titanic"" and plugged it in. It's syncing now."

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"""wow these chicken wings are SPICY"" i say aloud to no one, the world ended years ago. i'm not even eating wings. even the sun has gone"

"I got an anti-gravity book at barnes and noble today. it's impossible to put down."

"Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: ""Mmmwaaaaaaaooooomm!"" The second whale looks over and and says: ""Dude, you're really drunk."""