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Joke of the Day

"Cheer up Hilary! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under."

Next Joke
 
"My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins."
"Yo momma so fat that after sex she smokes a whole pig."
"Did you know? Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as ""The Sims."""
"Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes? There was a sin tax error. [8.5]"
"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."
"55 in a 25 and let's just say I wasn't referring to my driving."
"[Hostage situation] Um I don't want to be ""that hostage"", but I just want to let you know I have a gluten allergy."
"You know that guy who looks like that other guy in that show we used to like? He died. - how my wife and I communicate"
"Dear neighbor who mows his yard early in the morning tomorrow, I found my bagpipes for tonight."