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Joke of the Day

"It's not necrophilia if she was alive when I started."

"Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars... And then I wondered, Where the fuck did my roof go?"

"I really hope someone brings their cat to Mars only to get it get run over So we can finally say Curiosity killed the cat."

"There's a hotel with no bathrooms Its called the Holdinit Inn"

"What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings? If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this."

"Today there was an explosion in my kitchen... I combined pasta with antipasta."

"I got stuck in a tornado once It sucked"

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'"

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a drink."