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Joke of the Day

"What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings? If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this."

"Somewhere there's a cat named Pablo Picatso, and that's what keeps me going you guys."

"I got fired today, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently nursing homes have strict rules about what you can do with patients."

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabidooo."

"Identify a superhero: You see him flying: Superman If you see him climbing: Spiderman If you see him swimming: Aquaman If you see him exploding: Musulman"

"Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy."

"My Girlfriend Told Me I Need To Get In Shape..... I told her ""I am in shape! Round is a shape!"""

"Making Zombies Moist delete"

"What's the best thing about Sweden? I can't pick, but their flag is a huge plus."

"I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see."