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Joke of the Day

"Venice, Italy What do you get from a frisky, naked old Venetian man who can't get it up and has difficulty walking? Canal."

"I once knew this vegetable joke ..but then they pulled the plug"

"CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!"

"How do you remember your wife's birthday? forget it once."

"Two atoms are walking down the street.... Two atoms walking down the street. One says, ""Damn, Ive lost an electron"". ""Are you sure?"" ""Yep, I'm positive""."

"What is the bass players preferred method of contraception? His personality."

"Just because it's called make-up... doesn't mean it's supposed to makeup 99% of your face."

"So a guy walks into a bar... And yells, ""I HAVE EBOLA!"""

"No coffee in the pantry this morning so I had to go outside and show my dick to a cop to get the old motor running."

"TIL: A study revealed that users never check the authenticity of facts they find on /r/todayilearned"