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Joke of the Day

"CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!"

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"""I see your bet and raise you all my hair since 6th grade. Oh and this pen."" ""Sir that's not- ""You got a problem with pens?"""
"Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love."
"I always keep a water spray bottle next to my bed in case a cat burglar breaks in."
"Well, well, well... There's three deep holes in the ground with water in the bottom of them."
"Babies for dinner What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage!"
"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but you have to wonder how the hell they got in there"
"[interview with girl at dating agency] i get shy around pretty girls [girl smiles brushing hair from her face] ""are you shy now"" not really"
"How do you know when the king of Egypt is horny? ...From all the Pharaoh moans."
"What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag? About a day."