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Joke of the Day

"I don't take a duece I make gold like a Lannister."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Why can't a ghost get anyone pregnant? Because he has a hollow-weenie"

"How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice? He won't stop banging at the door."

"I had mostly good days in school until.... PrinciPao was hired. Now it just feels like I'm being told what I can and cannot do."

"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""

"Why rivers are never viewed on dvd or video cassette? Because they are always streaming."

"When I see a person with facial tattoos, I also know that I will see them in handcuffs if I follow them around long enough."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

"Why do whites call it reverse racism? because, only whites are racist."