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Joke of the Day

"What does your wife have in common with a Porn actress? They both moan SO much."

"""Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus"" is on, followed by ""Mega Shark vs Crocasaurus"". Nice job, SyFy. Way to GIVE AWAY THAT GIANT OCTOPUS LOSES."

"Coffee asked ""Why do I always get coal in my stocking."" Santa: Because your on the Not Tea list."

"What do you get when you cross a person and a manatee? HUMANITY! ...And bestiality...."

"ME{from upstairs}: Honey, I'm gonna take a Buble bath WIFE: You mean bubble bath, dear ME: Right MICHAEL BUBLE: Are you getting in or what?"

"[12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!"

"Whenever I talk about me and friend doing something, it's a good bet that my friend is actually a pizza."

"u think u had a bad day? smh think about the tree that just got cut down to make flyers for the next nickelback concert"

"[talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks."

"What do the chronically late have in common with sex traffickers? They both ""run behind""."