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Joke of the Day

"""Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus"" is on, followed by ""Mega Shark vs Crocasaurus"". Nice job, SyFy. Way to GIVE AWAY THAT GIANT OCTOPUS LOSES."

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"There's no way Oscar Pistorius can walk away from this... He doesn't have a leg to stand on."
"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? Simple! He just worked it out with a pencil!"
"What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!"
"My girlfriend told me peeing after sex prevents pregnancies... I don't know what I did wrong. I peed as hard as I could right after sex and she still got pregnant."
"Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?"
"Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive."
"When someone with a lisp says bismuth... You know they mean business."
"Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.. For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed."
"Why I dislike German sausages. They are the wurst."
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