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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the kidnapping at Walmart? ...it's ok, he woke up."
Next Joke
"Kids these days don't give a fuck about acid They're all about that base. Credit to /u/Assorted_Jellymemes"
"How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? Play the piano until you find the right key."
"When you wish upon a star ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams."
"How far away is the US Army's website? Just a few klicks away."
"Waiter, I'll have what he's having. Ok sir. One fly in your soup. Anything else?"
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhoea? The farmer shucks between fits."
"If I was a boss anywhere my job interviews would consist of only one question: who do you play as in Mario Kart"
"""I'm a very private person"" - people who are on back to back reality shows"
"Getting ready to ask my black friends what finna ax means."