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Joke of the Day

"Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. "

"Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?"

"If contraception is birth control... ... abortion is birth control-alt-delete."

"What happens if you castrate a corn cob? It becomes a eunuchcorn."

"Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack."

"If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!"

"What do you call a dumb nerd? A geek."

"Ebola has mutated! reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus"

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked"