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Joke of the Day

"I had a dream last night that I killed all those shirtless guys with ""swag"" and their duck-face girlfriends too. It was the Yolocaust."

"Q: What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail? A: A horse and rider."

"*travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want"

"Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities."

"Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman? He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League."

"mom: I'm not your friend I'm your mother! [20 years later] mom: why won't you accept my friend request on FB? I'm your mother"

"Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter? In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)"

"People in wheelchairs just don't get humor. They never know when you're pulling their leg."

"School is like a boner, long and hard... Unless you're Asian..."

"Being iced in for 2 days gave me the opportunity to get so much housework done! I didn't do any of it. But I certainly had the opportunity."