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Joke of the Day

"What do a woman's anus and a 9 volt battery have in common? (NSFW) You know its against your better judgement, but you put your tongue on it anyway."

"It still amazes me that you need a license to catch a fish but any asshole can be a parent."

"Doctor Doctor! my sister thinks she's an elevator. Tell her to come in. I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor."

"Dogs can't operate MRI scanners. But catscan."

"Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet."

"How do you give an ice cube an identity crisis? Drop it like its hot."

"Did you know? If you laid out all of your veins and arteries... ...you would die."

"Am thinking of watching ""Les Miserables"". Am dying to find out why this dude Les is so sad. If I could just meet this Les guy and cheer him up, he'd be... (wait for it)... less miserable. :P"

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson had sex with kids."

"This haunted house sucks. It's just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, this is real life? NOOOOOOOOOO!"