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Joke of the Day

"Why are so many computer scientists atheists? Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail."

"We all live in a yellow submarine... ...I really wish the bathroom was working right."

"How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it"

"I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox... ...but his latest performances have been a little shaky."

"Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan? A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging."

"What goes 'clippidy clop bang bang clippidy clop'? An Amish drive-by."

"The biggest problem with my business selling pens and pencils..... Having stationery stock"

"My mom's daughter said it looked like my foot was making a copy of itself I told her that's mitosis"

"Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens? - A: Because she wanted to mail a litter."

"Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what? Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir."