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Joke of the Day
"What is a mexican's favorite sport event? Cross country"
Next Joke
"I refuse to dance to any song that tells me how to dance in the lyrics"
"What happens when Bill Gates gets mad? He gets philanthro-pissed"
"WARNING: This film MAY contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."
"Complained to my wife about our sex life diminishing. Zero fucks were given."
"I'd buy more Tupperware containers from the supermarket if they came with cupcakes in them."
"A pedigree bulldog missing. Founders rest in peace.'"
"Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold."
"""I'll be a dentist. Then they'll love me."" ""We're terrified of dentists."" ""I'll kill a lion!"" ""It was a beloved lion with a name."" ""Dammit."""
"WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away*"