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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken fall into the well? He couldn't see that well."

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats ... Business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."

"Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice? Because he's dead."

"I treat my television in the same way that I treat my girlfriends. I abandon them and subscribe to Netflix"

"(Works better spoken) The seaman was asked what he was doing when he got out. He said when he got discharged he'd be buried in pussy."

"Prince Charming: I will awaken her with love's sweet ki-- Sleeping Beauty: five more minutes"

"Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit."

"What's the resemblence between politics and sex? It can be in whatever position they choose, but regardless there's still just gonna be a dick going in there, and you're still getting fucked."

"After realizing that I was living a boring, directionless, and empty life, I went to South Korea.. to go Seoul searching."