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Joke of the Day
"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."
Next Joke
"What kind of fruit tells the best jokes? A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me."
"I asked the offspring how to make BBQ taste better Gotta keep em marinated. ...I'll just leave now."
"Why can't chickens pee? Their pecker's on the wrong end."
"Necrophilia So my parents recently forced me to go to a psychiatrist for my necrophiliac thoughts. Having sex with a dead girl was just a nail in the coffin."
"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve..."
"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of gas."
"What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl? Her resume."
"What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson? The vacuum has the dirtbag on the inside."