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Joke of the Day

"*incoming text* ""hey bud can I crash at ur place"" Sure come on over *sound of approaching airplane*"

"What's Vladimir's favorite song? Putin on the Ritz"

"When Life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say ""You hit like a bit$h."""

"Have you heard the new yoga joke? It's kind of a stretch..."

"Do you think, when they were looking for that Carmen girl, that they ever checked San Diego? Just a thought."

"How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!"

"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."

"What do you call a friendly helicopter? A hello-copter"

"When the guy at Subway asks what type of bread you'd like, say cookies. When he laughs, ask to speak to the manager."

"The doctor had to remove my fungal infection. It's a shame. It was really starting to grow on me."