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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Irishman passed out on your deck? Paddy O'Furniture"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the twins with a fruit fetish? (May be NSFW) They came in pears"
"What do Badgers and Gynecologists have in common? they both like to root around in your cellar"
"I hate people who say ""said no one ever"" to things I said because I literally just f-cking said it."
"[checks window] [locks door] [starts to tweet] shrek was a d- [FBI agents burst into the room and leap on me] shrEK WAS A DOC UMENTArY"
"How do 2 psychics greet each other? ""Hello, how am I?"" ""You're fine, how am I?"""
"How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, lawyers only screw us."
"Did you fall from Haven? Me: ""Girl, did you fall from heaven?"" Her: ""Don't even think about it?"" Me: ""...because Satan did"""
"I'm so good at this Fitbit thing! I reached my daily step goal before I even left my bed this morning!"
"When does a cat need milk? Right meow... I know, the joke sucked. I'm going back in my corner now"