182585

Joke of the Day

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a panda suit* QUICK HIDE THESE NO TIME TO EXPLAIN *throws a litter of panda cubs at me*"

"Did you know, that we eat more bananas than monkeys? Last year the UK ate 76,500,000 bananas and only 6 monkeys."

"This just in! A truckload of wigs has lost control and tipped over on the highway........Police are still combing the area."

"What idiot called it ""leaving right after sex"" and not ""nuts and bolts""?"

"I try not to judge my barber for his weight but.. He could be a hair trimmer."

"have you heard about the couple who confused the tube of K-Y Jelly with window putty? It was horrible, all of the windows fell out of their new house"

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"What cars do cows drive? Cattleacs"

"What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread? The bread has more culture."

"dear teenage me, it's the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don't kill yourself it's actually pretty fun"