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Joke of the Day

"have you heard about the couple who confused the tube of K-Y Jelly with window putty? It was horrible, all of the windows fell out of their new house"

"To the guy that called twice at 4am, here's your score: Used correct numbers (A+) Dialed numbers in correct order (F-)"

"""Our new model works 40 percent of the time. Best one, yet. Congratulations, everyone."" - CEO of automatic paper towel dispenser company"

"Fedoras most likely. Two hats are on a hat rack in a hallway. One says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'"

"When Beyonce is on her period... ...does Jay Z have 100 problems?"

"Never Forget Girl: Can you finger me? Boy: Sure. Girl: Oh yeah that feels good. --------- 1 Day Later ----------- Girl: I'm pregnant. Boy: Dammit I forgot to wash my hands."

"Stupid joke I made up, 101: Where does a sandwich go when it gets good grades? Honor roll."

"The Real Iron Man (Chemistry Joke) My dad and I were talking and figured out who the real Iron Man is. Ferrous Bueller"

"I just saw a woman fall in the street so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don't know her or her hierarchy of needs."

"So a centaur walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Hey, how's the sore throat?"" The centaur replies, ""My throat isn't horse but my legs are."""