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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said I treat her like a little girl. So, I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself."

"Optimist vs Pessimist Optimist - The glass is half full Pessimist - The glass is half empty Feminist - The glass is being raped"

"I like my women how I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"I got ""Nope"" on ""Are You Going To Take This Quiz To Find Out What Stupid Character Or Song Or Food You Are?"""

"I want to piss on the guy that stole my tweet, changed it slightly and submitted as his own on FunTweets and then set him on fire."

"Q: What did the witch put in her hair? A: Scare spray."

"What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs? Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce ""Pho"". ;_;"

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."

"Life is like a penis Freely Hanging and Relaxing, it's woman who make it harder"

"When my girlfriend caught me cheating I told her I got HACKED but she didn't believe me. I guess that only works on Facebook."