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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a penis Freely Hanging and Relaxing, it's woman who make it harder"

"Gave someone a ride to school instead of getting coffee this morning because Mother Teresa has had all the attention long enough."

"Why is the archaeologist sad? Because his career is in ruins."

"How do you make Instagram worthy coffee? #nofilter"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"

"What's a great way to say I love you to your wife? I have a heart-on for you. Credit where credit is due: -Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott"

"Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*"

"Got a big audition coming up that requires me to tell a good school appropriate joke. I have plenty of jokes, none of them school appropriate. I thought I'd come here for help."

"What's Bill Corby's favorite type of Jello? Grape. The ""G"" is silent. Just like his lovers. Edit: I can't edit the title, I suck at spelling -_- (and proofing)"

"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."