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Joke of the Day

"You know what they say about corn? You only borrow it..."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I have never payed for a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What does an academic call masturbation? His seminal work."

"My friend tells me he graduated from Europe with a Celsius in Engineering."

"I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone."

"I tink Therefore I am Irish."

"Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row."

"There isn't anything that keeps you awake at night like a case of the what ifs."

"Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard? They both enjoy a good cavity search!"

"""Daddy, do you like princesses?"" ""Yes."" ""Why?"" ""Well usually they have a nice set of ti-"" Wife: ""Shut it."" ""I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."""