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Joke of the Day

"Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row."

"Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection? Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)"

"I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout... I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality"

"I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself."

"Why did John F. Kennedy die? He was too open-minded."

"When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread."

"Food snobs ""May I take your order? "" the waiter asked. ""Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "" ""Nothing special sir,"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. """

"You and I are like ass cheeks... we're still together after all the shit that's gone between us."

"How do you know you're at a redneck wedding? Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church"

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."