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Joke of the Day

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"Knock, knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget!"

"I hope I don't get rheumatoid arthritis.. Fingers crossed."

"""Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?"" ""Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."""

"Accidentally called 911. Set my house on fire to not look stupid."

"Just found out I'm pregnant. At least that's what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says."

"So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply ""Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"" ~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~ No regrets"

"I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before..."

"Bruce Jenner When Bruce Jenner finally gets his va-jay-jay operation done, will the docs give him a hymen? And who's gonna be the lucky guy to pop it?"

"Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It's actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns."