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Joke of the Day

"Why do brits have sex more than any other nationality? Because with Cameron in charge they're always going to be fucked."

"I was passing a Chinese restaurant the other day on my way home... And thought ""when in Rome"" so I got general tso's"

"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."

"Why does everyone care who Tom Brady voted for? What we really wanna know is who Ja Rule voted for. WHERE IS JA?!"

"What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles"

"What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach? Flip flops or scandals!"

"Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails."

"Other than Superman and the homeless has anyone used a phone booth in the last 10 years?"

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad dad' he said 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one' said his father !"

"Your mother walks into the bar It's ""the"" bar because she's so fat she's in every bar."