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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"If two vegans don't like each other.. Is it still considered beef?"

"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"

"Clerk: Why do you need 200 condoms? Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals"

"My wife asked me to grow a beard I didn't like it at first but it's really growing on me"

"So last night I had a stroke of genius. Two nights ago I named my penis Genius."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool"

"Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport? Because he was Snowden..."

"1. Be born of a virgin 2. Walk on water 3. Get crucified 4. Return from the dead 5. ??? 6: Prophet"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles"