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Joke of the Day

"They're not called ""butt hole mirrors."" They're called ""hand mirrors,"" according to this clerk at Walgreens."

"Five Secrets of Successful People: 1. Don't 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets"

"If we're talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I'm thinking of burying you there."

"All of Hitlers generals were having a cookout, why wasn't Hitler invited? He always burnt the franks."

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"What do you call a British woman with a yeast infection? An English muffin"

"I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games."

"LPT: If you don't have a SO, pray to God every night and see if that works. If not... try Satan."

"I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster. Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish."

"Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents."