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Joke of the Day
"LPT: If you don't have a SO, pray to God every night and see if that works. If not... try Satan."
Next Joke
"Met a girl with 12 nipples today Sounds pretty odd, dozen tits?"
"just missed a turn because I was trying to tweet ""dong cheadle"" while driving"
"What do horror movies and printer ink have in common? The black one always dies first."
"One of my favorite things about kids is that you only have to feed them once a week"
"Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide."
"Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer."
"My favorite pickup line.... Hey, smell this... does this smell like chloroform?"
"A key difference between keeping a cat & chimp as a pet, is a cat will eat your face off when you die. But chimps lack that kind of patience"
"Think of how horrible Ray Rice and the NFL had to act in order to make TMZ seem like brave investigative reporters"