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Joke of the Day
"Filed a restraining order against Starbucks. Creepy. Every time I turn around, there they are."
Next Joke
"Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm."
"Not saying I'm desperate enough for a mail order bride, but did just check to see how much FedEx charges for 125 pounds from Krasnoyarsk."
"What's a Yankee? It's a quickie....but you do it yourself"
"Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece."
"Thinking about opening a restaurant for breast cancer survivors. It's called Hooter."
"""and god said LET THERE BE BUTTS and there were butts nice warm jiggly butts everywhere on every human"" - me 2:16"
"Breaking News: Uncovered Nazi documents reveal a cure for cancer was found An oven.."
"Ebola has mutated! reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus"
"Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym? Because you already know she'll work out."