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Joke of the Day
"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."
Next Joke
"I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer."
"TIL that women have a second stomach for dessert. It's called the uterus."
"What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common? A wet nose."
"Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun."
"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."
"*jumps from the earth to the moon* PARKOUR"
"How's my life? Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with ""let's just say""."
"Just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock. It's not great, but it gets me out the house."
"""Did anyone else's house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices..........oh U2?"""