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Joke of the Day

"Never bring a toasted sandwich to a senior's gym Or else you're going to have 40 people thinking they're having a stroke."

"Hate to be that guy.... ... because he's a dick. Fuck him."

"How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped"

"What did the boy say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while playing tag? Na-na boo-boo"

"Willie Nelson's braids sold at auction for $37,000. The winning bidder can't wait to smoke them."

"Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck."

"Ah, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you know you have boobs, go get checked. You too ladies."

"What did one statue say to the other statue he hadn't seen in a while? ""Statue bro?"""

"We're working on saving our second million. The first one didn't go so well."

"LHC (Large Hadron Collider) When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina."