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Joke of the Day

"Why are Pakistan not allowed to play football? Because every time they get a corner they set up a shop."

"Why do British people never sound British when they sing?"

"The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years."

"My wife just cleaned out her purse. So, she'll be having a garage sale later this week."

"Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that."

"Did you hear about the one about the heart and stomach? Nevermind, it's an inside joke."

"A guy and his girlfriend are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

"What breaks when u give it to a toddler? Her hips"

"Me: If Obi-Wan's clothes remained after Vader killed him, then why wasn't ghost Obi-Wan naked? My date: [to waiter] Check, please."

"The Illuminati doesn't scare me They never even kill anyo"