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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in the whole school. Mother: That's my son. Teacher: Oh! I'm so sorry. Mother: You're sorry?"

"What's the slowest boat? A snail boat"

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger."

"I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay"

"""I don't want no scrubs"" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes"

"Life is a lot line piano lessons. Because my mom forced me into it and expects me to try my best even though she knows I fucking hate the piano."

"Why did the banker bee go to prison? Embuzzlement! You're damn right"

"A structural engineer walked into a bar... ...this is when he realised his building design was flawed."

"What kind of dance does your mother do? The MOMbo."

"Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car"